08.12.15

Yesterday came and went, and with it we added another tally to the mark of years lived without him. Every year as this day approaches, my body has a way of reminding my mind that we are at this point again. Even when my mind has somehow forgotten that August 12th is slowly creeping up on us, my insides deep down begin to hurt and quickly remind my mind that we are here again. It's as if my body can never forget the hurt of this day and the events that took my dad from this life nine years ago. Nine years. I still can't believe it has been that long since we have seen his face or heard his voice. The thought that in just one more year we will have lived 10 years without him knocks the wind completely out of me.

As much as it hurts knowing that I've lived almost 10 years without my dad, the knowledge that Reese (and all of my future children) will never know their "Coach" in this life stings even more. And that's why I felt that sending love notes to him this year was needed. Reese loves balloons. And although she didn't understand the purpose of letting them fly up to heaven this year, I'm sure she will in years to come. The face on these kids' faces turned this day into a happy one. As we released the balloons an army of dragonflies magically appeared and flew in the sky with them. I heard recently that dragonflies have a deeper, more spiritual meaning and are often seen after the passing of a loved one. Yesterday I noticed them, and I can't help but feel that was a way of him saying, "I miss you too."

We love and miss you, Coach.